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Quotes about pubs, beer and drinking

A lot of people have made a lot of memorable quotes about pubs and drinking. Here's a selection. You'll also find these quotes scattered around the site at random, just look at the foot of the page.

Real ale fans are just like train-spotters, only drunk.
Christopher Howse

May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.
Old Irish Toast

I don't have a drinking problem... 'cept when I can't get a drink
Tom Waits

Of doctors and medicines we have in plenty more than enough. What you may, for the love of God, send it some large quantity of beer.
Dispatch from the colony of New South Wales 1854

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose.
Jack Handey

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
Stephen Wright

[I work until] beer o’clock.
Stephen King

A moderate use of beer will aid digestion, quicken the powers of life and give elasticity to the body and mind."
United States Department of Agriculture, 1866

Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol
N. F. Simpson

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
Humphrey Bogart

There is nothing for a case of nerves like a case of beer
Joan Goldstein

There is nothing which has been yet contrived by man, by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern or inn
Samuel Johnson

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Oscar Wilde

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Ernest Hemingway - For Whom The Bell Tolls

"People who drink light beer don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
Capital Brewery, Middleton Wisconsin

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt
Dean Martin

The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn't have to attend all those meetings.
Arthur Lewis

Beer... An intoxicating golden brew that re-emerges virtually unchanged an hour later
Rick Bayan

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman

I drink to make other people interesting.
George Jean Nathan

Beer... Grain of a higher grade
Henk Kooyman

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
David Daye

I drink, therefore I am
W. C. Fields

An alcoholic is anyone you don't like who drinks more than you do.
Dylan Thomas

Most people hate the taste of beer to begin with. It is however a prejudice that many have been able to overcome.
Winston Churchill

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
Brian O'Rourke

I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it
Raymond Chandler

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.
Dean Martin

A tavern is a place where madness is sold by the bottle.
Jonathan Swift

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Joe E. Lewis

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die.
Homer Simpson

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough
Mark Twain

I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep.
George Best

I may be drunk, madam, but you are ugly, and tomorrow morning I shall be sober.
Winston Churchill

Beer ... a high and mighty liquor.
Julius Caesar

For a quart of Ale is a dish for a King.
Shakespeare, A Winter's Tale

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Ernest Hemingway

Of beer an enthusiast has said that it could never be bad, but that some brands might be better than others…
A.A. Milne

Wine... The Mozart of the mouth
Gerard Depardieu

He was a wise man who invented beer.

I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
Noel Coward

Do you have a Gambling Problem? Yes, the pokies are blocking my pool shot

How much of our literature, our political life, our friendships and love affairs, depend on being able to talk peacefully in a bar!
John Wain


When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! : Brian O'Rourke  - more quotes...
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